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IM OVERWHELMED - 5 Tips On How Parents Can Take Control Of Their Lives
   
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Starting Your Own Scrapbook Club
Before I discovered the world of scrapbooking, I was inexplicably drawn to my local office supply store. I loved to stand in an .....
Before I discovered the world of scrapbooking, I was inexplicably drawn to my local office supply store. I loved to stand in an .....
IM OVERWHELMED 5 Tips On How Parents Can Take Control Of
Their Lives
Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want to feel
more relaxed and empowered raising your child? Working parents,
stay-at-home parents, visiting parents it doesnt matter which
one you are because these days almost every parent feels
overwhelmed by their daily day. Parents every day experience
anxiety, stress and despondency because they feel as if they are
losing control of their natural balance. The natural balance
that once allowed them to walk, talk and chew gum slowly - all
at one time! Now you are running to work, picking up children,
grocery shopping, doing laundry, paying bills, taking your child
to some lesson, etc. Those days when you had control over your
life, can be re-lived again by knowing how to create a
structured life that incorporates extra time, a swing to your
step and the ability to believe that you can accomplish what
needs to be done, in addition to being a fun and caring parent.
Below are five tips that can start you on the path of feeling a
positive glow about yourself.
1. Create Routines Routines are established by parents
to manage their own behavior and also to manage the behavior of
their child. A routine actually nurtures the positive overall
growth of your child. A routine helps to create consistency, and
consistency allows you and your child to feel secure. Create a
routine calendar. Get a large sheet of paper and write down
what needs to be done daily (hour by hour). A time slot for each
activity, whether it be work or play. This routine calendar is a
plan for each hour of the day. For example: 6:30 AM wake up,
shower, dress; 7:15 AM wake children, help them dress; 7:45 AM
start breakfast and have your child make sack lunches, etc.
(Do not forget to put down chores for each child in this
calendar). Two personality traits that develop from a routine
are positive thoughts and feelings children have about
themselves. Routine doesnt allow for frenzy and uncertainty.
Routine says I know what is being done and when it is being
done. Most importantly, stick to the routine each and every day.
Watch your life become more manageable.
2. Nurturing A part of every single day should be
devoted to nurturing your relationship with your child. Whether
the specific time for concentrated nurturing is in the day or
night doesnt matterwhat does matter is that you spend at least
HOW I WROTE MY FIRST NOVEL
At age 19, I told my English professor that I was writing a novel.
I'd written the first chapter. How interesting! How wonderful!
She wanted to know if the novel was about me. I .....
one-half an hour a day doing something with your child. ChooseAt age 19, I told my English professor that I was writing a novel.
I'd written the first chapter. How interesting! How wonderful!
She wanted to know if the novel was about me. I .....
an activity (massages, games, toys, exercises, dancing, joking,
being silly) that nurtures you and your childs spirit. These
daily nurturing sessions will stimulate the growth of your child
and allow you to become child-like once again yourself. You can
feel very refreshed by having an unstructured playtime with your
child. Your feelings of being overwhelmed throughout the day
should just melt. The quality of your childs emotional growth
is largely a part of their reflection of their relationship with
you. Seeing you smile, having a light cheerful voice creates an
exceptional fun and healthy bonding for both of you.
3. Create Limits Feeling hopeful and empowered with your
child starts with you defining the limits of what you think is
acceptable behavior. Set limits on acts, but not on your childs
spirit. When your four year old decides to run ahead of you in
the shopping mall, take the time to talk with your child about
your rules and limits when out shopping. Make these limits well
known to your child. Create a substitute limit, i.e., tell your
child he/she can run ahead of you in the house only. The
defining of limits is necessary not only for your peace of
mind, but also for your childs development in knowing when and
what is acceptable behavior. If you have decided that no ice
cream is permissible before dinner, stick to that limit or rule.
The truth is if you allow your child
just-this-one-time-only, you are really giving permission for
this scenario to take place time and time again. Then you become
angry and overwhelmed. No need to loose control, just create a
limit of each act that pushes you to feel anxious and
un-balanced. Remember to create limits that are age appropriate.
This is known as wise-parenting management.
4. Create Time Sometimes less is more. Start by doing
less each day. Parents are generally creating the overwhelming
feelings they experience because of trying to fill their day
with too many activities. Children honestly benefit from down
time. When you are going in too many directions at once, you
are creating stress and strain. Everyone feels it. Look at your
routine calendar and see what activities can be eliminated or
reduced. Sure dance lessons, soccer practice, piano lessons,
etc. are important but not as important as finding nurturing
activities that are done at home and done in the name of sanity.
To feel less overwhelmed, spend some time in paring-down what
activities are welcoming and credible to your family members and
what activities are actually causing frustration and stress
(like when you hear yourself saying, hurry up, hurry up.) Make
the cut and you will create a more relaxing and manageable
family life.
5. Create Your Own Personal Time This is a time for you
to remind yourself that you do have control of your life and you
do need to take care of yourself. There are many examples of
healthy personal time which makes your heart happy (and making
your heart happy is very, very important for your entire
well-being): time spent apart from your child (call the
babysitter), time spent in a warm bubbly bath (wait until your
child is asleep), time spent on a date with your special other
(again call the sitter), time spent doing an activity that makes
you feel good (drawing, gardening, knitting, golfing), time
spent going out with friends for dinner, time spent exercising,
time spent just getting quiet and welcoming the peace. Being
good to yourself is the most important thing you can do in life
it benefits you, your child, your mate and your work life. It
is amazing that what you do for yourself is a characteristic
trait that your child will learn to admire, learn from and
respect.
By incorporating at least some of the above-suggested tips
daily, you will truly experience a positive change in yourself
and in raising your child. Your life will be more in control,
more livable, more enjoyable and more relaxing. Keep up the good
work you are doing and dont forget to spend some quality time
on yourself.
Copyright 2005 by Linda Milo and Empowering Parents Now. All
rights reserved.
About the author:
Linda Milo, a.k.a., "The Parent-Child Connection Coach"
specializes in helping mothers and fathers turn their parenting
challenges into a more livable, more workable, and more
enjoyable family life. Go to: http://empoweringparentsnow.com
and call Linda for a FREE consultation.